tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-176260322012-01-15T21:03:57.356-08:00Mourning and MotheringSnickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.comBlogger9961100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-2192698925138156022011-12-06T21:15:00.000-08:002011-12-06T22:12:38.438-08:00

That's what he suggested.I'd been talking about Korean food a lot since my return from visiting John's family. One of my favorite things about taking the kids to Michigan is eating lots and lots of Korean food, both home-cooked and in restaurants. John was the Korean chef in our house and I never picked up his skills, so I use our time with the in-laws to get my fill.And so, either tired of or

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com27tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-89853133339287378332011-11-14T20:16:00.000-08:002011-11-14T21:05:50.357-08:00

It's no use, really, to try to update on a month's worth of activities, so I'm just going to jump right in with what's on my mind now. I continue to stew in my contentment and moments of discontentment (those continue to be mostly work-related). But the satisfaction of being where I am seems to be here to stay, and it's most welcome.One of the last times I posted, I mused about my lifelong lack

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-83981106984544001362011-10-23T19:56:00.001-07:002011-10-23T20:56:46.890-07:00

It was Maddie's turn this weekend.Like her brother, she was more quiet on this trip than she typically is when in Riley's company. Part of that can be chalked up to not feeling well—she's had a cold to varying degrees since starting school in early September, and this weekend things hit a particularly low point—but some of it also seems to be a phenomenon of not being so chatty when there's no

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-28413626484247650902011-10-20T20:20:00.000-07:002011-10-20T21:18:18.184-07:00

Last weekend, I took Riley to the beach. Just Riley.I think perhaps I had mentioned that I was planning to do this, to take just one child at a time on an overnight trip. This is the first time I've done this. I've long wanted—and still want—to regularly spend one-on-one time with each of the twins, and as they have gotten older, I've started to grab hours here and there during playdates and such

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-4680531065309459492011-10-03T19:37:00.000-07:002011-10-03T21:18:38.206-07:00

After my latest series of posts in which Everyone Was Out of Sorts, I'm pleased to report that we're all on the upswing.Maddie is settling into school. It's clearly still tiring for her, both physically and mentally, but she seems more like herself, more settled. She gives positive reports about her days and hasn't asked to bring her lovey to school. She did completely lose her mind on Friday

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com24tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-27301914001027894102011-09-27T15:26:00.000-07:002011-09-27T15:57:04.117-07:00

Maddie's not the only one with adjustment issues these days. I'm having issues myself.I hesitate to blog about work because, well, duh, it's dumb to blog about work. Some of my coworkers occasionally read my blog, what I write is intended for public consumption, and I'm not anonymous, so caution is warranted. But I can say this much about work without it being too much: for the past month or so,

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-77685595761836329562011-09-26T19:42:00.000-07:002011-09-26T20:08:30.743-07:00

"Mama, I don't like school," said Maddie to me as I kissed her goodnight tonight.It's been clear to me since kindergarten started two-and-a-half weeks ago that the transition was hard on Maddie. She truly enjoys new experiences, but she also likes to know her place in the social structure, and she prefers that her place be on top. Kindergarten was a whole new ball game there. She has quickly

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-61918294197326945382011-09-22T19:51:00.000-07:002011-09-22T20:13:18.264-07:00

I loathe back to school night. Loathe it. Last year, my loathing caught me by surprise; I was quite excited by seeing the classroom and going to the book fair and being courted by the PTA. Seriously! I was! But then I went and it was mayhem. No place to sit for dinner; crowds and lines and stuffy libraries; crazy activities; utter and complete chaos. I do not say this to fault anyone involved in

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com27tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-64235020264994420382011-09-21T21:41:00.000-07:002011-09-21T21:52:09.928-07:00

My friend Alayna is driving and I'm in the passenger seat. We're two blocks from her house, on a side street. We both see something in the road, something dark, maybe a box, not quite in the middle of the road, but definitely not on the shoulder.We're going slowly, and as we get closer, we see that it's a cat. Alayna has to swing wide to go around it; that cat was not getting out of the way for a

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-2984941205003275512011-09-08T22:25:00.000-07:002011-09-08T22:52:13.692-07:00

Tomorrow is Maddie and Riley's first day of kindergarten.I feel like I'm less nostalgic about it all than most parents. I have many fond memories of early grade school, and I've always loved order and routine, so even when the teacher wasn't great or I struggled with the lessons, I remember feeling comforted by the routine of it all. I often find as a parent that it's hard for me to move past my

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-78386992077022643422011-08-21T20:04:00.001-07:002011-08-21T20:17:40.437-07:00

. . . and that rhymes with P and that stands for PIANO! We bought a piano today. I've always wanted a piano. I don't play, but I know how much a piano background would have helped me when I was starting oboe at the ripe old age of 14. The musical fundamentals that come from studying piano are good for any further musical endeavors, and the musical experimentation that one can do with easy access

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-38706446168961406602011-08-20T19:41:00.001-07:002011-08-20T20:03:47.511-07:00

There are certain things I'd worry about a lot more if I had only one kid. To put a finer point on it, there are certain things I'd blame myself for more if I had only one kid, or if I had two kids who were more alike. Take food, for example. Tonight's dinner was smoked salmon (served cold), steamed white rice, nori wrappers, corn on the cob, and sliced watermelon. Upon seeing the dinner, Maddie

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-16993649140781730192011-08-18T19:57:00.000-07:002011-08-19T22:34:51.794-07:00

Life is all fast these days, all clichéd and fast. Summer, where have you gone? Kids, how are you already starting Kindergarten? Snick, how are you months away from turning 40? I find myself without much to say, but wanting to come here and say nothing. The struggling continues, although it is letting up. A Facebook friend wisely commented that just when you can't take any more, you get your

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-4978957585230188832011-08-04T14:00:00.001-07:002011-08-04T15:59:39.820-07:00

John's dad has said of John's birth, "He had a hard time to come out." It hardly seems like a memorable quote, those ordinary words, so slightly syntactically off. But something about the expression on his Dad's face, his eyes squeezed shut, his head shaking slightly no from side to side, his hands squeezed into fists at his sides, made the difficulty of John's 10-pound, large-headed entry into

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com23tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-12804272703454892192011-07-29T21:12:00.000-07:002011-07-29T21:40:09.527-07:00

I was a major nerd in college. Well, in high school, too. And I still am now. I guess I've always been a major nerd. But college sticks out as my prime-time nerd years, perhaps because that's when I found so many members of the nerd tribe. Also, my college-level nerdiness was combined with a serious amount of uptightness that made it all more acute; I never pulled an all-nighter, usually had my

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-10841071216203407242011-07-21T21:17:00.001-07:002011-07-21T21:38:18.313-07:00

My conclusion is that five year olds are all over the map in terms of sleep, but that at 9-10 hours/night with no nap, mine are on the low end of a pretty wide range. I probably didn't need an informal survey to tell me that, but it's nice to have anecdotal data to support my totally unscientific hypothesis.I'm sure this is controversial—what parenting decision isn't?—but tonight I decided to try

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-59348507948078791632011-07-18T21:13:00.000-07:002011-07-18T21:27:56.319-07:00

Two posts in one day!I'm back for an update and a question. First, an update on the Leapster2: thanks to all those who provided input/advice. In the end, I downloaded Rabbit River for Maddie and Chicken Coop for Riley, plus I purchased the "Kindergarten Readiness" cartridge for Riley and the "Pet Pals" cartridge for Maddie. Those were about the only games available that did not have a marketing

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com29tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-17308126300260486022011-07-18T16:44:00.001-07:002011-07-18T16:54:52.903-07:00

I am bursting with blog content. Bursting! But I have a problem.I've been sucked into a horrible vortex powered by the forces of a too much work, stressful work, and Netflix instant streaming. So, you see, I work all day, feel behind all the time, get home, get the kids to bed, and collapse in a Netflix-watching heap, thus leaving the blog neglected.I'm not sure how I managed to remain out of

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-73905042045916328532011-06-27T20:45:00.001-07:002011-06-27T21:15:59.279-07:00

Just a quick post/poll/solicitation of advice; apologies to my FB friends who are seeing this twice.Do any of you have a kid or kids with a Leapster2? M&R got them for their b-days (although they don't know that yet) and I'm just wondering what to expect. Is it actually educational? They each get one free download from the list below; any recommendations?1. Dragon Kingdom. Teaches: letters,

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-45476159734125888822011-06-25T21:59:00.000-07:002011-06-26T19:33:23.889-07:00

Riley had his birthday party today. It was at the local bowling alley. Unlimited bowling plus pizza and drinks and balloons made for a very, very fun event.It was so much fun for me to see Riley with his friends. He invited five boys: four from his class plus a cousin, and then Maddie was there as the "bonus kid." Oh, and Riley invited our former neighbor, his football/general sporting buddy

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-45981264046960053962011-06-20T21:33:00.000-07:002011-06-20T21:42:55.486-07:00

Riley and Maddie will be five on Wednesday.FIVE.Whoa.I have quite a few things to say about that, but for now, I have a more practical matter to attend to.Riley is obsessed with LEGO bricks. I managed to secure a huge plastic bin of such for a great price on Craigslist, and this will be young sir's birthday present. The bin included 20-ish instruction booklets, and I had intended to sort through

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com38tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-32511888464459936322011-06-06T13:56:00.001-07:002011-06-06T16:04:27.697-07:00

I've needed vision correction since I was ten years old. I started with glasses, then got soft contacts, then switched to gas permeable contacts and have worn those for twenty years. Twenty years! I am no longer in the bloom of youth [hint: foreshadowing!]I've never had great luck with eye doctors. I seem to have a knack for finding the strange ones. I've had one that was downright creepy and

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com36tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-88217525479129035672011-06-03T11:22:00.000-07:002011-06-03T16:04:01.946-07:00

We have a new house.(Sorry, no pic with the kids, but more to come.)It's not the brand-new, LEED-certified home I blogged about months ago. Instead, it's a new old house, with bones from 1910 but delicious, recently added modern amenities. It has four bedrooms and three bathrooms (SO POSH) and a freestanding garage and a castle playground in the backyard (why did I not mention that first?) and

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com49tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-84878896686308047162011-04-22T13:32:00.000-07:002011-04-22T14:02:12.478-07:00

Seven years or so ago, no make that eight, it was spring 2003 and John and I had just started dating. We spent a sunny Sunday morning into afternoon into evening at the home of mutual friends, out on their deck, celebrating another friend's PhD, drinking mimosas and then mojitos and then wine, eating an endless array of snacks, enjoying the sun in short sleeves, unwilling to admit that we were

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-57070486244743228252011-04-15T20:24:00.000-07:002011-04-15T20:32:54.736-07:00

[Scene: I'm in bed with Maddie; it's her turn to snuggle with Mama until she falls asleep. All is cozy, warm, and dozy.]Maddie: "One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. I am counting my blessings."Mama: "Oh, that's a nice thing to do. Do you want to tell me what they are, are or just think about them in your head as you count?"Maddie: "One, my money."Mama: [?????]Maddie: "Two,

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-3644040690966410872011-04-11T21:51:00.000-07:002011-04-11T22:12:41.061-07:00

John died four years ago today.This is the first year that his deathiversary snuck up on me. I have been preoccupied with other things (buying a house! work! general life!), and it was not until yesterday at church that I remembered. Last year, I shared the three year anniversary during joys and sorrows at our church service; I was a weepy, emotional mess, but there was no better place to be in

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-60361313048359920502011-03-31T16:22:00.001-07:002011-03-31T22:50:53.704-07:00

I'm in the past a lot these days. Some people I know through the Internet—I like to think of them as friends; I hope they feel the same way—have ill spouses who are approaching end of life, and reading about their experiences and thoughts takes me back with startling clarity to the last few months of John's.I'm not going to look back on what I wrote then; I have a feeling that I was overly

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com26tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-76701768703178637222011-03-29T13:17:00.001-07:002011-03-29T21:30:47.737-07:00

I still share too much, sometimes. I started learning about not sharing so much when I first started in Al-Anon, where wise women helped me learn how to say no. "All you have to say is no," they said. "You don't have to explain why, or sound guilty, or talk about how you wish you could say yes, or apologize. Just say 'No, that won't work for me.'" I'm still not very good at saying no, but the

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-85271757265735408282011-03-16T15:58:00.001-07:002011-03-16T21:58:24.350-07:00

I absolutely love it when someone posts something in their blog that is the exact thing that I need to read that day, even if—especially if—I didn't even know that I needed it. My friend-via-blogging ComebackNikki did just that today on her blog 10Eleven.I'd never heard of Thomas Bien until five minutes ago, but I sure do like his three instructions for happiness, and I thank ComebackNikki for

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-7270653491021527112011-03-09T19:43:00.000-08:002011-03-09T20:23:37.787-08:00

I was gloating a little bit inside when the gate agent invited families with small children or anyone else who needed a little more time to board to go ahead and get on the plane. I was unencumbered, kid-free, able to loiter around the gate area, admire the desert hills through the plate-glass walls, soak up warm, soothing air that blew through the open doors. I saw the gaunt man in the

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com24tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-1593241777862586862011-02-18T21:02:00.000-08:002011-02-18T21:40:55.078-08:00

I wonder, sometimes, what life would be like with one child. I can't imagine which one it would be, of course. Maybe it would be neither Maddie nor Riley, given that I don't think either of them would or could be who they are without the other.When John and I found out I was pregnant with twins, the doctor told us at the very first ultrasound (six weeks?) that it was quite likely that one of the

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com26tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-37745116157227598232011-02-15T16:26:00.000-08:002011-02-15T16:49:16.119-08:00

I'm flummoxed when I encounter homeless people. I was raised with the idea that money given to the homeless is just wasted on booze and drugs, or that somehow people need to earn money, not get by on handouts. My parents do not have hearts of stone, nor did they ever explicitly say such things to me, but somehow I managed to become a young adult who felt saddened by the plight of those who had

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-30018582821850288542011-02-07T21:31:00.000-08:002011-02-08T10:23:05.117-08:00

I was going to go to bed early and read, but then I thought, "No, I'll blog!" So here I am blogging and I have no idea what I'm going to say.I've been exercising a lot, although mostly not running. I started a staff Pilates class at Reed, and it feels good to do something totally different for my body. I've also been doing the Jillian Michaels 30-Day Shred video every night with Z.So, yeah,

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-76881653879307294082011-01-31T19:52:00.001-08:002011-01-31T20:23:03.369-08:00

The mornings are no picnic. But then again, the evenings have their own challenges. It all gets back to that endless cycle of weekday logistics. That seems to be what's stuck in my craw these days. I've discovered in my 4.5 years as a parent that the conventional wisdom about changes taking hold with kids is true: give it two weeks. Quitting the pacifier? Two weeks of rough times, then you're

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-11241511954347033772011-01-27T09:28:00.000-08:002011-01-27T11:25:56.704-08:00

One way in which I am exactly the same as the majority of the world is that I find it hard to get out the door in the morning.I don't want to get up as early as I really should to give us all enough time to get ready. Once I do get up, time seems to just slip away, and suddenly I should have left five minutes ago but I'm still shoveling cereal in my mouth and haven't brushed my hair. Maddie and

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com30tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-84059676260559125902011-01-25T19:52:00.001-08:002011-01-25T20:58:44.578-08:00

I didn't ever want to own a house.Right there, you all are like, "OK, I see where this is going. She thought she never wanted to own a house and now she wants to." Yeah, that's kind of it. But not all of it.John and I bought the condo that ended up being My Own Personal Albatross and Symbol of Grief because we got kicked out of the apartment we had been renting. It was being condoized, and we

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-63340395770660058912011-01-24T16:33:00.000-08:002011-01-24T16:49:10.628-08:00

Utah was nothing short of awesome. Life has been nothing short of busy since returning, plus Netflix kindly had a new Mad Men DVD waiting for me when we got back from our trip, so I've been neglecting the blog.I did download a bunch of photos off of my camera when we got home from our trip, and I am planning to post some once I stop being busy. The fact that I'm out of Mad Men DVDs will help

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-34273432276723732732011-01-14T21:12:00.001-08:002011-01-14T21:32:28.832-08:00

We're leaving tomorrow to spend a long weekend in Utah.Yes, Utah.We'll be staying with some wonderful friends, to whom I would link as both parental units blog, but their blogs are relatively private and I haven't asked permission, so that will be retroactively hyperlinked if OK'd.These are friends I've known since college. Truth be told, we weren't super-close for most of our time at our alma

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-68179777255202765282011-01-11T20:10:00.000-08:002011-01-11T21:21:30.795-08:00

On Sunday, we were hanging out with the neighbors, watching football. This is how we spend most Sundays. Riley was on my lap, and we were eating popcorn. Riley turned to me, a pitiful look on his face, and said, "Mama, I have to tell you something and I really don't want to.""It's OK, turkey. You can tell me. What is it?""I put a popcorn kernel up my nose."And with that, he burst into tears,

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-25107999140075568552011-01-06T16:11:00.000-08:002011-01-06T19:49:32.813-08:00

The father of one of the twins' friends emailed me yesterday. He said that his daughter was wondering about the possibility of having a playdate with Maddie. Just Maddie.M&R have played with the girl in question, F, many times before. In fact, this father/daughter pair totally saved me in the gap between our former nanny going back to school and getting Z through the door. During that eight-week

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com26tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-11348696177940312972010-12-30T09:42:00.001-08:002011-01-05T14:19:54.888-08:00

A few people have asked me for an overview of how I decided to host an au pair and what the process was around actually finding Z and getting her here to the U.S. Without further ado, here's the scoop, keeping in mind that this is based on my experience and understanding and that I'm not any kind of official source for au pair information.WHAT IS AN AU PAIR?Definitions will vary, but the kind of

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-12564146939362327492010-12-29T19:40:00.000-08:002010-12-30T09:32:25.484-08:00

The kid are sleeping. We had a really fun evening. I got home from work early, and we spent fifteen minutes or so playing around on the new gymnastics mats in the basement, doing somersaults and airplane lifts and making human sandwiches (that sounds so gross, but you know what I mean).Then it was dinner, one of those marvelous occasions on which the main course (butternut squash soup) was

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-7881697608999868552010-12-28T11:41:00.001-08:002010-12-28T12:03:46.773-08:00

I got Maddie and Riley a couple of games for Christmas: Zingo and Sequence for Kids. I enjoy playing board games, although not with the fanaticism of some, and 4.5 seemed like a good age to introduce some simple gaming into our lives. In fact, the idea was Maddie and Riley's; they had a game day at school before the holidays and came home raving about how much fun it had been.The games were given

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com27tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-64051933434030621942010-12-22T21:08:00.000-08:002010-12-22T21:31:19.810-08:00

I am ambivalent about Christmas. I'm not Jesus-religious, so the whole birth of Christ thing is not especially meaningful to me. I outright loathe the commercialism, and in general I'm not a gifter. John and I were on the same page in all regards here, so the few Christmases we had together were low-key affairs.There is something, though, to this whole "Christmas through the eyes of a child"

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-64338030406643655852010-12-14T21:18:00.000-08:002010-12-14T21:26:27.957-08:00

I had blocked out time on my calendar at work specifically for shopping at H&M today. I'd been looking forward to it for some time. But in the end, I was FOILED because there was no parking to be had in downtown Portland. Seriously. None. The parking garages were all full, and while I watched a number of folks snag spots on the street, the stars never seemed to align for me. I drove around for 30

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-23553162199424099732010-12-13T21:38:00.000-08:002010-12-13T21:56:26.790-08:00

Apparently, I took a break from blogging. It was quite unplanned. And now, just like that, it's over!There is much to say; I have simply been too lazy to say it. Well, that's not entirely accurate. My online access was limited when we were in Michigan, then I was sick, sick, sick for three days after we got back. Then I got lazy. Or out of the habit. Or both. Good habits: so difficult to

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-80418735167780104132010-11-23T20:42:00.000-08:002010-11-23T20:48:31.754-08:00

Look at me, blogging instead of packing! I'm an experienced traveler, but that does *not* mean that I am a good packer. Wow. Packing sucks.Quick update on possible Detroit meetup: thanks to those who have expressed interest here on the blog or via email. I'm still not sure what will work, but hope to make a decision by Friday and post the plan then. I need to touch base with the inlaws once we

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-26640795764897017372010-11-20T19:48:00.000-08:002010-11-20T19:53:30.891-08:00

A commenter asked about the possibility of a Detroit-area meetup . . . I modestly had not even considered that there might be enough interest to do such a thing! So I'm here to find out if there is interest. It would need to be Sunday or Monday because of our Friday night trip to Frankenmuth, and could be with our without kids.Anyone game? Preference on day or place?I reserve the right to decide

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-46965987177248400282010-11-19T10:11:00.000-08:002010-11-19T10:20:55.133-08:00

Maddie, Riley, and I are headed to Michigan next week to spend the Thanksgiving holiday with John's family in greater Detroit.Now that the twins are old enough to really enjoy getting out and exploring, I'm looking for recommendations on preschooler-friendly things to do in the area. What of these activities are worthwhile for the four-year-old set? What else do those of you who know the area

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-11347296430274541442010-11-16T20:22:00.000-08:002010-11-17T09:05:21.378-08:00

I feel like everything is exploding these days.Work is a total disaster zone. I don't like to blog about work, so I'll just say that I have too much to do, too little time to do it in, and too many personnel issues keeping me from the tasks at hand. Why can't we all get along? Sigh.My immediate family is in good shape, thank goodness. Going home each night is a joy, even when the kids are not

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-54601712925664060862010-11-14T21:23:00.000-08:002010-11-14T21:46:39.199-08:00

It's the dawn of a new and unpleasant (if you're me) or hilarious (if you're Maddie and Riley) era: that of the "You're a [fill in the blank]-head" taunts.I place the blame for this squarely on a new habit of Maddie and Riley's that I find otherwise utterly endearing. They have fallen in love with audiobooks. They are bonkers for them. They beg me to put them on in the car and at home. It makes

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com24tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-48422581726382170762010-11-13T21:59:00.000-08:002010-11-14T07:15:03.619-08:00

Today is my dad's 65th birthday. Happy birthday, Plain Ba! We lured him up here to celebrate and we had a rockin' good day that involved the twins sleeping until 6:30 a.m. (late!), breakfast at Grand Central, college football on TV, a bike ride (me and the kids), and dinner at the Old Spaghetti Factory. After dinner, we sent him on his way home with a six-pack of homemade chocolate cupcakes with

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-22202302445878535712010-11-12T22:16:00.000-08:002010-11-12T22:18:05.311-08:00

Night out with best friend at this place = brain dead.Good night.

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-73813236066112289802010-11-11T14:34:00.000-08:002010-11-11T21:46:52.770-08:00

I've been struggling lately with my body. I wish I could be liberated and emancipated and unconcerned about my weight and shape; I with that it were enough for me to eat well and exercise and accept what my body looks like when I take care of it in that way. Because I do eat well (with some indulgences) and I do exercise (regularly, although sometimes more regularly than others), and I'm healthy

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-66425748182511385952010-11-10T20:41:00.000-08:002010-11-11T14:34:04.771-08:00

I headed off to work today, leaving Z in charge of the kids without me for the first time. I told her to call or text with any problems. I checked my phone a lot. Nothing.I got home a bit late (grr, traffic) and found everyone in the living room, listening to a book on tape. My arrival home was a total nonevent for M&R. Good sign. Z was all smiles. It seems that everyone had a great day. We had a

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-33946457741718591542010-11-09T21:06:00.001-08:002010-11-09T21:31:08.075-08:00

Riley used to wear a lot of girl clothes. He still wears girl clothes sometimes, but not nearly as much as he once did. Most days, he wears sweatpants and a t-shirt and he lives for the days when his football shirt is clean.He's always been a really sweet, sensitive boy, my Ri-Man. He's not crazy emotionally intuitive like Maddie, but he has always been a gentle soul, much the way his dad

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-30123787229023197072010-11-08T20:29:00.000-08:002010-11-09T08:04:53.496-08:00

I'm done!Does that expression mean that I'm tired? Because that's what I'm implying. Having Z here is wonderful so far, just wonderful, but also exhausting. Today was our first day of the regular routine, although an irregular version thereof because I was home. But it was a school day for the kids and our first chance to show the newest inhabitant of our home what a typical morning breakfast

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-8021435954793400912010-11-05T21:28:00.000-07:002010-11-06T08:28:03.821-07:00

We have an au pair!I would say that it's her fault that I have already missed a day of NaBloPoMo, but that just seems rude given how lovely she is, so I won't put that on her. It is, however, true that last night was dedicated to last-minute preparations for her arrival plus a girls' night with my mom to keep me awake before I went to the airport to pick up the newest member of our family (let's

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-52539937959500309392010-11-03T21:04:00.001-07:002010-11-03T21:36:12.793-07:00

[Well, crap. Blogger just ate most of a post. Grrrr. Redoing. Sigh.]Warning: girly talk ahead.Cleansing diets seem to be all the rage these days. From lifestyle changes to three-week detoxes to elimination diets to pinpoint food sensitivities, everyone seems to be cleansing.Cleanses fall into two broad categories to me: 1. Can't hurt, might help, and 2. Stuff white people like. (I've not seen

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com33tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-44312491745992381752010-11-02T20:45:00.000-07:002010-11-02T21:19:55.662-07:00

I've been thinking about the past a lot lately, about the time that John was sick. A coworker's grandson has leukemia and is getting ready to start chemo. Another friend has had surgery to remove a tumor on his kidney. Another is preparing for surgery as the first step in treatment for breast cancer. When I hear about these things, my stomach flips and I can smell the hospital, hear the beeping

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-41456358904186433682010-11-01T20:41:00.000-07:002010-11-01T20:43:06.808-07:00

If I post today, then there's a chance that I will do NaBloPoMo, so here's a post, you know, just in case.

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-54813411858875485562010-10-31T21:22:00.001-07:002010-10-31T21:52:54.886-07:00

I was not at my best this weekend.We ended on a high note, which is great; Halloween was a total blast even if Riley refused to wear his costume. (Much to my surprise, no one asked him why he wasn't in costume or what his mismatched sweatsuit + Crocs was supposed to be.) But the less than 24 hours between Saturday afternoon and around 9 a.m. on Sunday were a study in Poor Parenting Decisions.We

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-46118868270838346092010-10-26T21:42:00.000-07:002010-10-26T22:32:49.122-07:00

Work continues to consume me. Projects, personnel, the fall break that's no break at all when you're on staff at a college . . . some of it is good, some of it is just difficult. I feel like I'm learning a lot and being challenged in some meaningful ways, so I'm trying to focus on those positives.I've got a pot of butternut squash soup on the stove and an applesauce cake cooling on the counter.

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-20669733626946921012010-10-14T21:13:00.000-07:002010-10-14T21:41:45.523-07:00

I'm here. I'm consumed by work at my job and work at home. Everything is insane at my 9–5; I'm revising/reworking/rewriting a big piece, dealing with some really ugly personnel issues between two people who report to me, and trying to keep pace with the usual demands and tasks. Home is also nonstop as we prepare for our au pair to arrive. We've had unusually busy social times, too, with visits

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-62975130400883552262010-09-28T20:16:00.000-07:002010-09-29T10:05:37.492-07:00

I feel like I should have a post, but I'm not sure I do. Life's been busy enough for a post, but it's pretty much the same stuff it was a week ago, all still in the same limbo it was before. I do think we've found an au pair; I had a couple of great calls with a woman in Bolivia, and then the kids and I Skyped with her over the weekend and we agreed to be "matched," but since then I've not heard

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-25271545041705561682010-09-21T21:00:00.000-07:002010-09-21T21:29:33.690-07:00

The nanny called in sick today. For about a half a nanosecond, I thought about trying to get my mom to come watch this kids this morning, then I thought better of it and put my pajamas back on.I had told Maddie and Riley that we could go to the donut shop this morning; my intention was to take some treats to work to ease the blow of a first-thing-in-the-morning meeting, plus I'm always looking

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-69232083711301065232010-09-20T21:57:00.000-07:002010-09-21T11:41:32.276-07:00

Usually when I log on to Blogger, I have a plan. Most of the time, I have an outline in my head of what I'm going to say. Often, that plan gets derailed in the writing, but at least I have an idea of where I'm going to begin.Today, I'm without a plan.I find myself with so many things I could say, but none of them are in and of themselves very interesting and no theme ties them together but The

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-61296596926901820942010-09-13T21:01:00.000-07:002010-09-13T23:11:26.201-07:00

The nanny arrived promptly at 8 a.m. Before 8:30, she, Maddie, and Riley were headed to the park down the street. They didn't return until close to 10 a.m. She is kind and sweet and I think she'll be great.We all walked to school together. On the way, we ran into a friend of Maddie and Riley's from their former preschool with his parents. The kid was wearing a tie. It was adorable.At preschool

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-44594816526671595892010-09-10T20:43:00.000-07:002010-09-11T09:23:40.693-07:00

First of all, a big thank you to the internet. The nanny situation is on the cusp of being resolved, and for that I am grateful in no small part to the computer.Nanny situation aside, there's so much going on right now that I don't even know where to begin.The twins and I went to Kansas! How's that for a place to start! We were out there for five days, in Kansas City (well, we stayed in Leawood)

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com40tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-84376143918114715442010-08-24T10:44:00.000-07:002010-08-24T10:56:51.461-07:00

What a weekend I had. My sister-in-law was in town, which was a hyper-intense mix of emotional intensity and general activity. I've got plenty to say about that, but right now, I'm feeling panicked.I need a nanny. Last year, when I moved to Portland and needed a nanny, I posted a job on sittercity.com and I got a ton of responses and found someone great (who is now going back to school full-time)

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com27tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-57556458614499491532010-08-19T15:02:00.001-07:002010-08-19T15:06:05.500-07:00

Me: Maddie, what would you think if I called you Ramona?Maddie: Ramona?!Me: Yeah, Ramona.Maddie: No, I like Beezus.Me: Oh, really. OK. Beezus.Maddie: No. Wait. What was the dog's name? The dog at the Ramona Quimby park?Me: Ribsy.Maddie: Yeah, that. I will be Ribsy.Riley: I think I would like to be Apple. Apple Kim.So much for that.

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-5757864094301255452010-08-12T14:54:00.000-07:002010-08-17T16:47:48.196-07:00

"It's not always all about you, Stacey."I can't get those words out of my head.**********************************On Saturday, the Saturday just over a week ago, the twins and I headed north. We spent three nights on Hood Canal in Washington, a canal that is actually a fjord, a stunningly beautiful site with a rocky, oyster-covered beach. Every year since graduation, with only a couple of

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com40tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-47861623685647303512010-08-02T20:05:00.000-07:002010-08-02T20:31:01.720-07:00

I have a whole theory about regret—about how if you've lived a life with which you are happy, if you have taken opportunities that have presented themselves, if you have learned from mistakes and been willing to continue taking risks—that you will have few regrets. If you know you have made the most of what you have, what is there to regret, really? We all make bad decisions from time to time; to

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com43tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-84663279578949966902010-07-28T22:16:00.000-07:002010-07-28T22:54:00.674-07:00

I was sick last week, Peace Corps sick, seemingly never-ending stomach sick, call my mom and have her come over and take the kids to school 'cos I couldn't stand up sick, starting Wednesday night and not really ending until Sunday. It was total survival mode. Kids were dressed, fed, bathed, vaguely entertained, a freelance job was completed on schedule, and that was that. Five days of my life,

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-77560407329944780892010-07-21T14:36:00.000-07:002010-07-21T19:46:21.053-07:00

It's probably some Lonely. CV is wise to advise me not to discount the Lonely.But I do think that it's mostly arriving, for the first time in my life, at the point that I've been trying to get to without even really meaning to or knowing it. Is my life what I envisioned? Not really. Am I happy all the time? Certainly not. Will unexpected things happen that will shake it all up? Almost

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-80597031014903460402010-07-18T20:55:00.001-07:002010-07-18T21:12:31.753-07:00

Joy's right, I think.Call it liminal, call it lonely, but what I'm really in is the calm after the storm. The cancer killed the husband, the grief is at an ebb, the kids are growing up, I'm back where I always wanted to be and I'm loving it with the job and the city and the family.So is this it? Is this my life?I don't want a new job. I'm thrilled to feel more like a human who is a mom rather

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-4953029387349427232010-07-17T19:57:00.000-07:002010-07-17T20:17:08.312-07:00

I'm emotionally downtrodden today.There's an opening that is bound to hook in the readers, huh?Even better, that's really kind of it. Downtrodden. Emotionally. That is my current state. Maddie and Riley tried my patience all afternoon yesterday and all day today, and I'm feeling not so great about how I handled it, but I think my reactions were more an indicator of my mood than their behavior was

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-52793055634152510202010-07-16T20:21:00.001-07:002010-07-16T23:11:17.047-07:00

It's Friday. I'm drinking a gin and tonic with lots of lime. I just oiled my picnic table and did some weeding and the second load of laundry is in the washer and now it's 8:20 p.m. and I don't want to do any more chores and I don't want to go to bed and my book choices are a novel that I'm not loving and Moby Dick for book club.I was an anthropology major in college, anthropology and French. I

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-32462444369119073872010-07-08T14:24:00.000-07:002010-07-08T19:36:32.806-07:00

I've thought about cancer a lot lately. I've been watching DVDs of the TV show Breaking Bad, in which the main character is diagnosed with terminal lung cancer. The writers really nailed the realities of treatment. Unpleasant, and unpleasant memories. Riley got a bloody nose the other day; I wasn't even home for it, but hearing our nanny talk about it and then worrying about whether or not it

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-90903934099307970652010-07-01T20:46:00.000-07:002010-07-01T21:12:07.105-07:00

It used to be that I never listened to music when I ran. Then I started listening to NPR. Then music. Then nothing again. Lately, I usually have my iPod with me and I've set up a few playlists for when I head out for a run.I've been thinking a lot lately about why I run. The two main reasons are that it's the most efficient form of exercise I know and that I feel both mentally and physically more

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-16364983883195790722010-06-29T10:41:00.000-07:002010-06-29T13:44:30.593-07:00

[at Maddie and Riley's birthday party]Friend, to M&R: Do you have a dad?M&R, looking at each other: No.Me, unsure of what to do: You can tell your friend what happened to your daddy.Maddie: He died.Riley: Why did he die?Maddie: He died. But then my mama was born and then she got to be our mama so it's OK.The matter-of-factness of the four-year-old set is pretty compelling. The question was asked

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-57899648798472345072010-06-22T22:12:00.000-07:002010-06-22T22:15:00.292-07:00

Happy fourth birthday to Maddie and Riley!There were chocolate croissants and juice and presents and singing and candles and cupcakes and nonstop queries of "Are we four now?"Yes, you are four. The mind boggles.

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com31tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-32348864821567006782010-06-21T22:03:00.000-07:002010-06-22T08:43:48.539-07:00

Book club meeting tonight, first one with this group. Moby Dick. Yep, I'm that geeky.Smart people. Good discussion. Felt a little out of my element at first among the PhDs and ABDs and other smarties. Found my groove.Biked there. Summer isn't here yet, but the night was warm, a little humid. Portland humid. Nothing like MA. Or Gabon. Slightly buzzed on the ride home. Can't describe the feeling of

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-54767608019631029542010-06-17T14:18:00.001-07:002010-06-17T14:27:19.174-07:00

Maddie, Riley, and I attended Fiets of Parenthood, a family bike fair that is part of Pedalpalooza, this weekend at Clever Cycles. Being newbies to family cycling, we declined to participate in the family bike obstacle course, but we very much enjoyed the popsicles from Sol Pops, the bike decorating festivities, and the camraderie of being around a bunch of folks who have been getting around by

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-9163304942312972792010-06-15T20:44:00.000-07:002010-06-15T22:55:49.213-07:00

We've ridden our bike every day since we got it. Sometimes more than once. We have ridden for fun and for utility.I'm not kidding when I say that having this bike has changed our lives, or at least my life, and I don't think this is merely an obsession with The New. A bunch of things that used to feel like chores now feel like pure joy. I had no idea how annoying I found driving short (to medium

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-10424843221913271382010-06-08T15:07:00.001-07:002010-06-09T10:08:10.405-07:00

I've stuck with blogging way longer than I ever stuck with my fits and starts at pen and paper journaling. Like many people, I've kept journals sporadically over the years, starting in grade school with a hardbound volume complete with tiny lock and key and progressing through Peace Corps and beyond to Moleskines and handbound tomes of acid-free, archival paper. At times, I've journaled nearly

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-41275314990399071672010-05-31T20:55:00.001-07:002010-05-31T22:48:27.252-07:00

When I lived in Gabon, the only way to get refined, white sugar was in the form of cubes. Let me restate that: the only practical way to get refined, white sugar was in cubes. I'm sure some of the swanky expat stores in the capital sold granulated sugar by the bag, but I shudder to think what it would have cost. I preferred to spend my luxury money on cheese and just crush up sugar cubes when I

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-90931193325975180492010-05-27T08:56:00.001-07:002010-05-27T19:40:53.169-07:00

Note: This is a long, rambling post. Here's a summary in case you want to skip it: I've been going out on some dates. I don't think I want a real relationship right now, but it's fun to get out. Then again, when one is getting out, who knows where things might lead? The end.Someone commented on my Loneliness, Aloneness post that it sounds like I'm ready to be dating. Agreed, and I have been

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-19196289024337824722010-05-26T09:27:00.000-07:002010-05-26T09:33:04.066-07:00

3a. Anything local. Locally raised food. Local business. Local legend. Locally sourced. Local = good.3b. House made. When you're at a restaurant here, you can get all kinds of things that are house made, house cured, house smoked, house butchered, house roasted, house blended, house crafted. Some of these things are surprising (house made tonic water, which is pinkish-orange!), and almost all of

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-61792047964301960912010-05-25T14:20:00.000-07:002010-05-25T18:20:33.681-07:00

RileyWhen Riley holds my hand, he rubs my cuticles with his fingers. I can't stand it. It makes me feel sick to my stomach. But I never tell him to stop because John did the same thing. Mindlessly, abstractly, he'd rub his fingers over that tough meeting point between nail and skin, despite the fact that I'd told him a million times how it made me feel. Such an odd habit, odder still that Riley

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-25445186789845972982010-05-21T19:48:00.000-07:002010-05-21T20:44:57.630-07:00

I'm not lonely very much. I'm rarely ever alone, for starters (although being in the presence of others is certainly no guarantee that one will not feel lonely). Even when I am alone, or quasi-alone, after the kids go to sleep and it's just me rattling around in the house, I'm usually quite content with my own company. I have an endless litany of projects to attend to or avoid. I can read or

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-11120168160358427202010-05-18T16:26:00.000-07:002010-05-18T16:57:54.809-07:00

It was muggy this afternoon when I went out for my run, muggy for Oregon anyway. I headed into the locker room overheated, sweaty, and pressed for time.[This is starting off like some kind of bad erotic short story, but I promise that's not where it's headed.]I really, really, REALLY dislike cold water. When I was in middle school, there was a polar bear swim at my summer camp, and on that cool,

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-29266764228215111502010-05-16T21:17:00.000-07:002010-05-16T21:21:15.903-07:00

1. Punch cards to get free stuff. Coffee, frozen yogurt, bread . . . my wallet is filled with punch cards here. I didn't have any such punch cards in Boston.2. Ordering their coffee by the size in ounces. It was small, medium, and large back east. Here it's 8 oz., 12 oz., 16 oz., etc. I love being able to get a little tiny cappuccino. And I also love that the default milk in an espresso drink

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-17816240450570913032010-05-09T20:07:00.000-07:002010-05-09T20:22:19.181-07:00

Mother's Day is one of my hardest widow-grief days, or it has been traditionally. I don't like holidays that try to force you to care about someone, force you to buy a gift, force you to express sentiments that are often complex and that certainly can't be captured by a card. And let's not get started about how Mother's Day for many is just a reminder of what they don't or can't have, what

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-39359726690783152322010-05-06T14:22:00.000-07:002010-05-06T16:05:09.091-07:00

It turns out that if you're me, once you acquire one pair of really cute shoes, you realize the power of the Cute Shoe, and you just want more. You realize that since the first cute shoes were wintery and black, with a heel, you need a pair of sandals and some flats to balance the equation. Suddenly, you find that these have taken up residence in your closet:Petrella by Söfft, in mochaPeony by

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com25tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-58885035197211281882010-04-30T14:49:00.001-07:002010-04-30T19:49:50.128-07:00

Talk about something I never thought I'd say. And this is the story of how running became part of my identity.I was a totally unathletic kid. Team sports still baffle me (as a player, at least, although I now quite enjoy being a spectator at team events). I had never worked out regularly in my life until I moved to Boston at the age of 27 and my best friend joined the Y and I thought, "Why not?"

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-22839551041668385552010-04-28T09:21:00.001-07:002010-04-28T14:28:45.670-07:00

Since people asked in comments:1. ShoesThey are here and there are amazing. They are comfortable and sassy. Two thumbs up.2. Book(s)Yeah, so, a while ago, I was going to write a book. In fact, about a year ago, I did write a book. I would link to it online, but I can't find it anywhere on the web. The book is called Four Seasons of Fun, and it was published by Hallmark, in their gift books

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-37411520975380435262010-04-27T11:35:00.000-07:002010-04-27T22:05:43.006-07:00

So, yeah, mmm hmmm, I guess I don't blog anymore?I'm a total blogging cliché, the very person the anti-bloggers find annoying. I'm the blogger who is having an existential blogging crisis. Who am I? Why do I blog? What does it all mean??? Seriously, as if blogging were not by it's very nature the definition of self-absorbed, now I have to start processing and questioning and taking all to new

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com29tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-31572826003100131902010-04-11T13:12:00.000-07:002010-04-11T13:41:18.646-07:00

Three years ago today, John died.My sister-in-law is visiting this weekend. It's nice to have her here on a this significant date, although, as always for me, the day itself is only as significant as I choose to make it. Should I choose to use the calendar's reckoning as a reason to reflect on the passage of time, so be it. Otherwise, it's simply another day to miss John. So far, I've focused on

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com30tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17626032.post-27028388602416968812010-04-09T20:42:00.001-07:002010-04-09T23:22:18.628-07:00

Thank you all for your great shoe advice. My mom thanks you, too. Unbeknownst to me, she was in the market for some shoe inspiration, too.For now, I have purchased these:Katia, by Fluevog. Pretty, huh? I just can't seem to move beyond the Mary Jane, alas. Would have loved something in a color other than black, but had to stick with what was on sale chez Fluevog, and in a style I liked, black was

Snickollethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14123630374052898460noreply@blogger.com20